The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

On a fairly regular basis I pick up books to add to my counseling collection. A couple weeks ago I added another, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. The first thing I did when I got home was get on Facebook and ask if any women had read the book and if they did what they thought about it. Here are some of the comments I received:

• “I think every woman should read it before the wedding and on every anniversary there after! Excellent!”
• “As a woman, it says some stuff that is hard to hear and hard to do. As a guy, [my husband] said that it was dead on in what women need to do for their men. [He] loves the book and I do to. It really showed me how to better care for my man!”
• “[I] never read it but always disliked the title--like you're taking care of a dog or houseplant or something.”
• “It definitely gets to the heart of the matter, thinking beyond ourself. Like most books, If you can go away with one good thing to implement to make your marriage better.....I think it is worth the cost of the book. I think you can go away with several things from this book.”

The book is written in a very easy to read, and very easy to follow style. The dialogue of the book is largely based on calls Dr. Laura has received on her syndicated radio show, as well as comments and stories people sent to her specifically for this book. I'm not a fast reader and I digested the book in one evening and one morning.

The main idea behind the book as that in a marriage relationship women need to look out for and provide for the needs of their husbands, in a way that only a wife can. This is an entirely biblical idea, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:21). Dr. Laura accurately explains how various cultural influences have led many women to aquire false ideas about what their role is in a marriage relationship. As a result, there are many marriages that are suffering because of wives not fulfilling their role in the marriage. Want details? Read the book.

She deals with topics that we often don't want to talk about in the church. Subjects like Men's feelings, nagging, guy time, and even sex. I've never really understood why we don't want to discuss these subjects (the Bible talks about them), but would rather learn what's appropriate on these matters from TV, magazines, and movies – secular ungodly sources.

There are few negatives I came away with from the book. First of all Dr. Laura occasionally uses language I would not approve of using. Second is the fact that it may be easy to come away from this book thinking that the only problems in relationships are the result of women. It would be easy to think that if only the woman would change her act all marriages would be perfect. This of course is not true. Sometimes the man is the problem and will refuse to change. It does, however, show that even in those situations if you do your part you will be fulfilling the words of God in 1 Peter 3:1. You are creating the optimal atmosphere to persuade him to change without speaking a word of it to him.

All in all I would highly recommend this book to all married women or those who will potentially get married. It's well worth the time, and I believe it could help make more marriages Godly. The result would be a better homes and better churches serving God. If you read it I would love to hear your thoughts.